I was a master at putting on a happy face, even right before and after I attempted suicide. Yes, deep suffering can have a shiny mask that fools many, sometimes even fools ourselves into thinking everything is ok, that we can keep this up. This was the case for me. Despite being depressed for a decade, I pursued career and outward success while denying my growing feelings of low self-worth, unworthiness, and despair.
I pushed things so deep down that when I reached out for help I was met with blank stares of disbelief and when I was really struggling, I found police handcuffs, straitjackets, injections of antipsychotics and isolation in hospital rubber rooms.
I was driven to the point of utter hopelessness with the denial of my suffering, both from myself due to the stigma of mental illness, and from the system’s inability to compassionately guide me towards wellness. I was met with rigidity, judgment, blame, and regret. Nowhere did I find a guide, someone who had experienced what I was dealing with and survived, and recovered.
It is my wish, more than anything, to save you from that stress. The system failed me in my journey, and I have recovered my life and dedicated it to saving others from the same long road I traveled. I know that there are safer, uplifting, and reliable paths toward wellness that can steer clear of the deep desperation and despair that I felt.
You can walk the path to mental wellness with me as your guide.